


Namesake

by syren_song



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: F/M, M/M, Sterek at the end if you squint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-20
Updated: 2015-01-20
Packaged: 2018-03-08 09:51:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3204839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/syren_song/pseuds/syren_song
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A reflection on the name Kate, and not letting the past stop you from your future.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Namesake

**Author's Note:**

> "What’s in a name? that which we call a rose  
> By any other name would smell as sweet"  
> -Romeo and Juliet, Act II Scene II
> 
> Though, perhaps, it is not always a question of sweetness.

Kate. A string of four letters, so simple at first glance. A tinkling name for a pretty blond woman with bright eyes and a throaty laugh. It was the way Derek still thought of that name, sometimes; just when a certain scent drifted in on the breeze, or he heard the low thrumming of a distant car. He’d loved that name once. It had made him think of caught breaths and the hammering of his heart, in tandem with a buzzing in his brain he’d thought had died at the base of an old tree. In dreams it came to him, light and teasing. The name begged Derek to run and jump without looking, and he wanted to obey. In gentle voices it told him to Trust me, just trust me, you can always come to me.

He knew better, these days. Kate had become the hissing click of a lighter, the start of an ignition that had burned the heart out of him. It promised joy and ripped out all that was hopeful, promised peace and destroyed everything it touched, until the only tangible thing was his anger. No—that was not quite true. Lamentation was first, thinking about everyone that she had killed. Guilt was next, seeing the ruined ashes of his former life. If I had only…if I just hadn’t…Guilt had never truly left him, just left in the shadows of the hatred that reigned his mind after Laura moved them as far away as she could from the fresh graves of their nearest and dearest. Well, only the ones that had enough left to bury.

When the name Kate came to him these days, it was vitriolic. She plunged into him with grasping hands, taking fistfuls at a time, no holds barred. How much more of him could she take? How much more was there to get? Tentative green buds can rise from ashes. Derek had fought them at first, believing that the acceptance of anything new would be the rejection of everything that had come before. He couldn’t just discard his family like that. Yet, the buds continued to form, and eventually he had to agree, however quietly, to shelter the new growths. Kate determined to rip them all out by the roots. She was gone now, but the name was still sharp on his tongue. Even as anger loosened its control, the thought of her left him burning in a way her reality had not.

Derek still hated the sight of fire, in various forms, but at times he wished he could smoke. It would be a way to steady his nerves, and he wouldn’t have to worry about the side effects. He replaced the memory of Kate with new names and new associations. All of those little green buds, his makeshift pack. They were little more than children; they were infinitely older; they were home. If he were a smoker, he would have dropped a cigarette onto the pavement and snuffed it out with his boot as he turned back towards warmth, back to his pack and love and safety. He closed his eyes as he inhaled the cool night air, letting the scent of cinnamon and ozone guide him home.


End file.
